Ballymun, Gis a Job.

So, Ikea will soon be coming to Ballymun. All they have to do is get past an An Bord Pleanála hearing (they have obviously checked the neighbouring fields for the bovine world's answer to Sergei Bubka), and they're in.

Isn't it great news. They're going to provide 500 local jobs, you know.

I know this because those who support the Ikea idea keep saying so. They keep telling us that Ballymun is one of the most deprived areas in the country. They keep telling us that the unemployment rate in Ballymun is three times the national average. That means that about 12% of the available workforce in Ballymun isn't working.

Amazing.

The Celtic tiger has been roaring for about 15 years now. We have created about one million jobs in this country during that time.

About five or six years ago we started to run out of people!

Imagine that. A country that 150 years ago had a population of over 8 millon suddenly starts to run out of people!
So we started to import them - as you do. We looked everywhere. Behind the bicycle sheds. We found a couple of dozen dossers there and put them to work. Edenderry. A few more dozen there - all related. Put them to work too. Then we ran out. Not an able bodied worker left in the country and still 200,000 jobs to be filled.

So in came the Poles, the Latvians, the Lithuanians, the Nigerians, Corkonians.

All sorts.

And we put them to work too.

Now we have full employment, which for some reason means that 95.8% of the workforce has a job.

So how come 12% of Ballymun is unemployed.

Whisper it.

Maybe they dont want a feckin' job!

They've had fifteen years of the Celtic feckin' tiger and they couldn't find a job in all that time so what the hell makes these idiots think that they've just been waiting for the right Swedish-put-it-together-yourself furniture giant to come along and take them by the hand and bring them into the nice, shiny new shop and pat their hands reassuringly and say, 'now, you just sit there and everything will be all right - and we'll be paying you at the end of the week too.'

You know, sometimes I just want to give up. About three or four times most days. I probably listen to too much radio for my own good. Feckin' Joe Duffy.

It's a generalisation, but its true. In a full employment economy, if you don't have a job, then you probably don't want one.

Any questions?

Wicklow cows jump over the moon!! Not.

Reports of cows jumping over the moon in Co. Wicklow have been greatly exagerated, according to one local farmer. John Templton, who spoke on condition of anonymity, (you will notice that I have left an e out of his name) has said that he has never seen a cow jump anything higher than a five bar gate. However he did confirm that a neighbouring farmer was rumoured to be entering a five year old fresian for the Puissance competition at the Dublin Horse Show this coming August.

All of this cow jumping related news comes hot on the heels of a confirmed decision by An Bord Pleanála to refuse a Wicklow resident permission to retain three windows at his home on the basis that they posed a danger to cattle in an adjacent field. The bord upheld an objection on the grounds that if the cattle were to stampede there was a possibilty that they would jump through the windows, the lowest of which is 1.5 metres from the ground, causing themselves or the occupants of the house serious injury.

Get up the yard!

About five years ago I began writing what I imagined was the next great Irish crime novel. I got about 24,000 words down and then got busy at work, having babies, being married and lots of other stuff, and the world was left bereft of the next great Irish crime novel!
Today I am publishing the first 9,241 unedited words of that ‘great Irish crime novel’. I would love to know what you think.
Follow this link
http://adublinnovel.blogs.ie

America, you are not the world.

Morrissey once wrote a song called ’America, you are not the world.’ I never heard him sing it, but I did hear Christy Moore perform it a few times and I didn’t think much of it. The song opens with - "America your head is so big/America your belly is so big/I LOVE you/ But I wish you’d stay where you live."
This is a sentiment often expressed by people when they complain about America. America, they say, should just keep out of other peoples business. America should look after Americans in America and not be interfering in Israel/Palestine/Iraq/Iran/Vietnam/Korea. All of these places, and a few more besides, have seen American involvement - or interference, depending on which side of the fence you view it from.
Right now there are over 100,000 US soilders in Iraq. This evening I listened to Boston radio show host Michael Graham say on the Right Hook radio show, that these troops are in Iraq because America cares. America cares about the people of Iraq. America also, presumably, cared about the peoples of Vietnam and Korea. America, Graham would tell us, cares about the people of Palestine and Israel. Americans, it would seem, are just about the most caring people on the planet. Maybe they are. I’ve never been to America but the Americans I have met here in Ireland seemed, for the most part, to be pleasant enough. Admittedly they were often a little overbearing, sometimes very excited to be here in Ayerlaaand! Sometimes they were indisputeably naive or just plain stupid but they never quite struck me as uncaring.
The problem, however, is that these nice citizens are not running the United States of America. That would be the job of the American government, and a more uncaring bunch of people you could not hope to meet.
For political purposes the American government IS America, and I have to tell you that America does not care about anything except America.
Now, you’re probably thinking ‘this guy really doesn’t like America.’ You would be wrong. I hope very much to visit the US at some point when finances and work comittments allow. I very much admire many aspects of American culture - Jazz, Rock & Roll, Hollywood movies. Writers such as John Steinbeck, Tennesee Williams, Edgar Allen Poe and many many more have entertained the world. Steven Spielberg, John Ford, Martin Scorcese - say no more.
America is fine. The American government is fine - except for one thing. Honesty.
America (the government) cares about nothing but America and American interests. This is a stick often used to beat America, but why should America care about anything else. the US government is elected by the citizens of the the US to represent the interests of those very US citizens. They are not mandated to care about anyone else. They are not mandated to worry about the starving people of Africa. They are not mandated to be concerned for the downtrodden of Iraq.
So, why then are there currently over 100,000 US troops in Iraq?
These troops are protecting the interests of the American people.
American people have a great interest in oil. The US is addicted to the stuff. Without oil America grinds to a halt. The same is true of most western nations. My own country, Ireland, is over 90% dependant on oil for energy. We’re even more addicted to the stuff than the US. The difference, however, between them and us is that they have the power and the military might to do something about it. Ireland was never going to overthrow Saddam with 14,000 men and a few dozen lightly armoured personnel carriers! The US, however, has a standing army of over one million soldiers, and so it could and did invade Iraq, overthrow Saddam, and take over another soveriegn nation.
Why did the US do this?
Was it because the American government cares so much about the people of Iraq?
No. It was because the American government cares so much about the people of America.
As I stated earlier, the American government is elected to protect the interests of the American people. When they invaded and conquered Iraq they were doing just that. I often wonder if those who berate and belittle America for doing this expect that the American government should act contrary to the best interest of America and Americans.
America needs oil.
Saudi Arabia doesn’t need any more oil, they’ve got lots of that. Saudi, it would seem doesn’t need democracy either. Not as long as they have all the oil. But they don’t have all the oil - just an awful lot of it. Now Iraq has lots of oil and until 2003 they had a dictatorship that was almost as repressive as Saudi’s monarchy. The house of Saud has not been looking as healthy lately as it did in times past and so the guys in Washington get to thinking about what would happen if someone else took over the US oil reserves - sorry, the Saudi Oil reserves. What if that someone wasn’t of Washingtons choosing? What if that someone didn’t want to do business with the American infidels?
The solution is so simple as to be laughable. Washington simply moves America’s oil reserve from Saudi to Iraq. That would be in the best interest of the American people. It wouldn’t cost much. Just three or four or five thousand American boys and girls, several trillion dollars and all of the worldwide goodwill America has built up over the last 100 years. Oh, and I nearly forgot, sixty or seventy or eighty thousand Iraqis, but hey, the US government is not mandated to worry about them.
Anyway the American oil reserves in Iraq are secure, and happy days, things in Saudi are not looking too bad either so America now has two sets of oil reserves in the middle east. Now, I ask you, how could that not be in the best interest of the American people?
One thing still bugs me, though. Remember I spoke about honesty?
What was all that bullshit about weapons of mass destruction? 45 minute warnings to attack the UK? Links to Al Qaida?
Just be honest about these things, America. I still won’t agree with you but it would be nice.
That way the people of the UK could know exactly what Mr. Blair has dragged them into.
That way the people of Madrid and London could know for what their friends and neighbours died.
That way the people of Ireland could know exactly why our government is allowing Shannon airport to be used to transport prisoners who are beyond the protection of any court or government to torture centres in the middle east.
That way the people of America could know the calibre of their political leaders and could make an informed choice in 2008.
That would be nice.
Unlikely.
Probably impossible, but nice all the same.
America, you are not the world - but think you are.